14 May, 2008

Melodrama Galore

Red calls me a drama queen and today I feel like living upto the reputation that has been thrust upon me.Ever notice how certain days are tailor-made for feeling blue or wallowing? You feel as if being misunderstood is the order of the day?How you blindly grope for some semblance of clarity in the rounded corners of your brain but come up with cobwebs at best and a lot of stuff swept under the carpet at worst?And when you think about it clearly enough (with assistance from your dear friend Mr.Caffeine), you realize that things are really not bad at all but you are viewing it as a 7-car pileup only because your noggin refuses to throw up doable solutions! And you look around for someone to kiss all the booboos away and make it all better and find that they're either sweating it out at the passport office, stuck in a traffic jam, supervising meals, firefighting or usually dealing with enough and more booboos of their own :(Then...you buckle down (attempt to at least), bitch your heart out in private blogs, write half-way coherent public blogs and embrace Mr.Caffeine to your bosom and drag your sad butt back to work! And believe it or not...it usually works!And if it doesnt? Then you force people to pay you compliments so they can "brighten" your day and give you a reason to not go back to bed and hibernate till better times prevail.Am very studiously working on the latter option and I see 2 potential victims approaching...must go and get my quota of "aww! what a nice outfit!" kick started.TA!

12 April, 2008

sticky fingers and unstuck head

A few days back a worthless lump of excreta (WLOC)filched Red's wallet from my bag. Why was Red's wallet in my bag? Coz Red's lazy and somehow forgets that his pants have pockets.

Anyhoo, the said fecal matter (FC) ran up a sizeable bill on Red's credit card and rocket scientist that he is...also paid his mobile bill. The men in khaki were their usual helpful best and while I ranted and raved and sobbed, Red remained stoic and agreed to learn from this mistake viz our carelessness and complacency in leaving moolah unguarded.

Red agreed. Me did not. Me plotted. Me heaped curses on head of imagined piece of turd (POT) and hoped peptic ulcers and piles would spring up overnight. Red stayed calm and had me spend my money for my birthday gifts, although on his behalf.

Now me has a bunch of dolls whom I love! One of these beloved dolls has another doll she loves. This doll was able to track down the miserable heap of dung (MHOD) through the mobile bill paid. And then it all began...the slime from the commonest variety of garden slug (SFTCVOGS) was tracked down, frog marched to a room and questioned and he confessed.

When I saw him, I recognized him and wanted to deflate his fat cheeks! He fed me a whole lot of bull and wanted to establish his sparkling reputation as a one-time filcher-but-other-wise-all-around-saint!
Needless to say that attempt sunk in utter doom.

We recovered the money and got his saggy, fat behind kicked out of the org on integrity issues.
I also made him apologize to Red and then stuck my tongue out at him and blew him a loud raspberry while he was leaving.

One must cope in whatever manner possible to restore one's equilibrium. Mine happens through raspberries.