12 April, 2008

sticky fingers and unstuck head

A few days back a worthless lump of excreta (WLOC)filched Red's wallet from my bag. Why was Red's wallet in my bag? Coz Red's lazy and somehow forgets that his pants have pockets.

Anyhoo, the said fecal matter (FC) ran up a sizeable bill on Red's credit card and rocket scientist that he is...also paid his mobile bill. The men in khaki were their usual helpful best and while I ranted and raved and sobbed, Red remained stoic and agreed to learn from this mistake viz our carelessness and complacency in leaving moolah unguarded.

Red agreed. Me did not. Me plotted. Me heaped curses on head of imagined piece of turd (POT) and hoped peptic ulcers and piles would spring up overnight. Red stayed calm and had me spend my money for my birthday gifts, although on his behalf.

Now me has a bunch of dolls whom I love! One of these beloved dolls has another doll she loves. This doll was able to track down the miserable heap of dung (MHOD) through the mobile bill paid. And then it all began...the slime from the commonest variety of garden slug (SFTCVOGS) was tracked down, frog marched to a room and questioned and he confessed.

When I saw him, I recognized him and wanted to deflate his fat cheeks! He fed me a whole lot of bull and wanted to establish his sparkling reputation as a one-time filcher-but-other-wise-all-around-saint!
Needless to say that attempt sunk in utter doom.

We recovered the money and got his saggy, fat behind kicked out of the org on integrity issues.
I also made him apologize to Red and then stuck my tongue out at him and blew him a loud raspberry while he was leaving.

One must cope in whatever manner possible to restore one's equilibrium. Mine happens through raspberries.
AMEN!

2 comments:

couch potato said...

WOW! Talk about crime in the work place. I hope you publish information about the kook so we know to keep barge poles handy when he comes calling.

la belle dame sans merci said...

sadly enough my hands were tied in the matter of smearing the thief's good name but he got terminated from the office on integrity issues and things can still become undone for him anytime...