For the first time since I've been blogging I haven't been able to come up with a title. I was surprised because when blogs are born in the noggin they go through a fairly quick gestation period and the developmental activity is pretty rapid. Of course the process of the birthing is often protracted and not always normal.
Anyhow I've been thinking for a while on the offspring's cognitive processes. I know he processes things well. It's just that he has yet to master language so he can make us understand what he comprehends and how he does so. But watching him is a treat. His reasoning and deduction makes me think to myself what kind of a person might he turn out to be later on.
Because the jury is still out on the whole Nature Vs. Nurture debate I can't quite confidently state that he will definitely exhibit xyz traits. But I do know that both hold water; to an extent.
Case in point- The Mater is a pretty good artist, in terms of sizing something up and reproducing a likeness. She's fairly skilled at the arts and crafts and her brain works pretty damn fast in picking up new techniques in the same field. But I'm all thumbs. Maybe because the Pater is all thumbs? The most creative I've seen him get with a pen or a pencil is turning one of my spelling mistakes on a greeting card into a series of extremely odd-looking dwarfish flowers. But he did do it.
I guess I'm wondering most about creativity. When I used to counsel MBA students a few years back and put them through a psychometric/psychosocial test and later interpret the results for them, I'd find that most of them associated creativity merely with the performing arts. If you danced, painted, sang- you were creative. Else not.
And I remember asking them how they were at problem solving, thinking on their feet, generating solutions, how they ideated, how they perceived various kinds of situations and suddenly they understood how their high scores on creativity were justified.
I've scored a moderate rating on creativity. I think I know why. Creativity is something which needs expression. Merely being able to think creative won't cut it. If I'm able to conceptualize something, anything...it needs to get portrayed somewhere. And creativity and originality aren't inclusive 100% of the time. That's another mistake we make.
While Kaavya Viswanathan situation isn't one we all may find ourselves in, we do need inspiration from somewhere. Where would my blogs come from if I hadn't been able to develop an ability to write? Where would this ability and love for writing come unless I'd read stuff that spoke to me. And how would a style be born in the first place unless I read something good and wanted to be able to write something along those lines.
I don't make a case for plagiarism, but creativity can often be, taking an existing idea and then putting your own spin on it. Hell if that weren't possible, Facebook wouldn't be either and we wouldn't be Superpokin people or playing Zombies and Vampires with people geographically dispersed at any given point of time or day.
But as ever I digress. Will the offspring be good at sports (his father is- I prefer to exercise my fingers by flipping a page), at music (I did manage to learn and forget how to play the sitar and the piano), be an egghead ( javagod father- says it all) or will he just branch out into a whole different direction and do something unexpected.
With schools offering ways of shaping up a child from a playschool level I really have to wonder how much of nurture is going to go head to head with nature and who will ultimately triumph.
I would dearly love it if he made it to Caltech or places of it's ilk. And would also love it if he travelled the world and took pictures and wrote travelogues that I could read.
I don't want him to emulate Gene Simmons though because why break a guitar when you can strum it? :)
Time will tell...and maybe in time he'll read my blogs and we'll see if his mother turned out to be a soothsayer or nayer and if she found an answer to the on going battle of Nature Vs. Nurture.
30 June, 2011
09 June, 2011
06 June, 2011
Ma da laadla...
YES! am indeed keeping in tune with Bollywood and using song titles for my blogs. Only I doubt I'll go the E.K way and make it (K(Ma) with the K silent :p
And while on the topic of the aforementioned...let me state what territories have been explored recently (kindly understand to mean random acts of violence perpetuated against household objects that cannot fight back)-
And while on the topic of the aforementioned...let me state what territories have been explored recently (kindly understand to mean random acts of violence perpetuated against household objects that cannot fight back)-
- The antennae of the land-line broken and kind of droopy and loose. I doubt the manufacturers intended the phone to be dragged along by the antennae in the first place. Just goes to show how important a role children play in the quality testing of objects.
- The screen, sound, camera of my Nokia have been so affectionately attacked that the saliva in the phone has become a reservoir. The sound of the people over the phone seems to be as if originating underwater. A gross exaggeration I admit but you get the picture. The camera's been hazy and grainy after the last contact with the floor.
- The frame of my glasses are chipped and loose. It really has become a one size fits all :( And I thought that applied to tube socks alone.
It's not that my kid is destructive mind you. Not at all! The cardinal sin that he suffers from is curiosity. What is kept so high up? Let's go explore. Why does the microwave light up and have a rotating object inside...let's touch it and see? What happens if I press that button...and the list goes on.
And there's his wish to hear how things sound ergo throwing them becomes the next logical act.
The way I see it, he'll discover something BIG one day...an explosion at the very least will not surprise his father and I one iota!
As for how to assuage his undying thirst for knowledge...well, as long as there are things for him to list, climb on and taste in this house the skirmishes between him and I are guaranteed. I guess his scurrying around is still preferable to him turning into a zombie tater tot in front of the telly. But commercials have never been more of a lifesaver for me. Especially those of fair maidens getting fairer.
Here's to all the manufacturers of fairness creams. You are the chief reason my son halts in his tracks atleast a few times in the day. May you keep preying on the mindsets of the fairness-obsessed people and keeping hiring geisha-faced girls to help out mothers like myself!
Here endeth the rant. For now :-)
05 June, 2011
Hai Rabba...
The problem with teaching your kid new words is that they may very well end up using them against you! And usually to their advantage.
Case in point- my child says 'bye' at the drop of a pin to everyone. I mean everyone. He also verry conveniently says bye to me everytime he wants me to stop talking or leave him in peace to wreck his mischief :)
Another example- The word moon. Simple, nice round word with long vowels. I first showed him the Supermoon and he became moonstruck from the word go. Actually moon :p anyhow now he sees the moon everywhere and makes me see it and acknowledge it too! Am sure it's his Telugu genes kicking in...the telugu grooms show their new brides 'din mein taarey' so our man took it a notch up- din mein satellite :D
The list runs long and is convoluted. But his speech aint! Tis simple and limited. And it's shaping my speech up the same way.
So when you meet me next, if you find me a bit moony...don't call the loony bin on me...just remember this note and say 'bye'...I'll probably get the hint :)
Case in point- my child says 'bye' at the drop of a pin to everyone. I mean everyone. He also verry conveniently says bye to me everytime he wants me to stop talking or leave him in peace to wreck his mischief :)
Another example- The word moon. Simple, nice round word with long vowels. I first showed him the Supermoon and he became moonstruck from the word go. Actually moon :p anyhow now he sees the moon everywhere and makes me see it and acknowledge it too! Am sure it's his Telugu genes kicking in...the telugu grooms show their new brides 'din mein taarey' so our man took it a notch up- din mein satellite :D
The list runs long and is convoluted. But his speech aint! Tis simple and limited. And it's shaping my speech up the same way.
So when you meet me next, if you find me a bit moony...don't call the loony bin on me...just remember this note and say 'bye'...I'll probably get the hint :)
02 June, 2011
28 May, 2011
Aunty Mat Kaho Naa :(
It's a given that if you have some much-loathed extra baggage (read fat or lard depending on how coarse you want to be) and are toting around a kid you MUST be an AUNTY!!
Well, this aunty attracted the attention of another kid who clearly doesn't have a diet chart anywhere on the horizon. This child wanted to tell me that MLM had taken her badminton racquet. The object was returned post-haste much to MLM's distress.
The chubby chicklet then felt bad for telling on MLM and started following us around to join in playing with us. She and MLM played on the slide, on the ground and she unbent enough to tell me that she knew that there were different types of birds (crows clearly did not qualify in the line-up) and she wanted to spell it out for me.
She then wanted to exchange girlish confidences and started talking about the magic rope she shared with her daddy :) I hope it was a metaphor for a good time else am quite puzzled by what that's supposed to actually stand for...
But a genial kid she was and am sure I'll have to attend more spelling bees when I see her in the park again :)
26 May, 2011
The Indulgences of The Maternal Uncle's House..
erm...yeah..I know..it's quite a mouthful of a blog title and out of the blue it seems to not really make much sense. There should be some context, shouldn't there?
Well, there is indeed! Taken in Bangla, the title makes mucho sense. A Mama (or the maternal uncle) is the person whose house the grandparents are usually supposed to be found in. Grandparents mean heap loads of love, abundance of everything good and basically a total and nearly complete immunity from rules, regulations and of course, parental glares and edicts *smiles*
This is the first time that MLM and I are staying with my folks purely for fun. Earlier there were family functions et al and not enough time was found for my son to reveal the full gamut of his monkeyness to his grandparents- or to me come to think of it.
Apart from becoming more expressive he started by getting the lay of the land as it were. He did a thorough recce a few minutes after we arrived and then proceeded to go and grab and mark as his own, most things which spoke to him. That I was usually scurrying after him didn't deter him much. If he needed me off his case, he simply called to his henchmen (aka my parents) and I was told to clear the way for the king of the land.
And kid is kingg in this case! The kitchen, bathrooms, the balcony, the birds in the sky, the planes he spies flying overhead, the occasional street dog, the maid servant, the cars, the driver (let me know when I should stop with my recital...) all have his patronage and he favors them with his smiles, the thumps of his hands and his incessant babble. Not speaking complete or coherent sentences doesn't stop him much (read AT ALL!!).
And into this mix, add my extended family, my parents classmates of old and of course Red (whom he saw after 17 loooong days), his new red tricycle, the neverending bubbles, the mini cars and gasp gasp, pant-puff..and the offspring is truly in his element and blossoming more every day.
For the record, this child hasn't faced this kind of humidity before and neither is he being kept in an airconditioned bubble. But he's happy and his happiness cools him a lot more effectively than the ac can. Although he doesn't hesitate to drag me by my hand/clothes towards the bedroom and say imperatively, "Mamma AAYCHEE!!". Nor does he mind declaring happily, "THANNA (thanda)", when he enters an airconditioned room and is soothed :)
And where does the maternal uncle come in finally in the whole tale? Well, since the maternal uncle is symbolic of summer fun and bonding with far-off relatives I guess the symbolism has been understood good and proper!
I used to look forward to summers in Calcutta (yes I did, and no I wasn't suffering from humidity or sun-strokes) because people made a fuss over me. My grandmother (the galactic ameba bless her nearsighted, chubby soul) would be in a festive mood and literally scold me if I didn't eat everything that she'd made for me expressly; there would be the childrens' classic books awaiting me as gifts from my grandfather and the time would go by very well without a phone, a t.v. and definitely without AC.
As I got older, the kind of time I spent with them changed too. Although my grandfather's stories of what all my mom and her sibs did as kids didn't change at all. And he enjoyed telling them each time SO much, you couldn't sit with a passive face even though you could preempt him word for word, pause for pause. One had to smile and be pleased with the antics his kids were upto.
My grandmother didn't go out of the house much after her eyesight deteriorated but she was still very fond of everything new. But what she really liked was knowing I was in touch with my Bong roots. So after lunch, she, my mom and I would end up on her huge four-poster bed and sit with the Geetobitan (the complete one- songs, lyrics of Tagore) and yes, yours truly would sing. My grandmother would join in and after a while that would lull her to sleep. Yup, kind of like singing to a baby :)
Cut to circa 2011, my son sings his gymboree songs (his own rendition of course, the child is TOO talented by half!!), wants Chilaaa (Sheila ki Jawani) and does a tandav when the mood takes him. And this fatigues my mother to no end. And yet, the very next moment when he's up, she encourages him again by reminding him of all the fun he had. And that, in essence is the 'mama'r baadir aabdaar'.
Am sure there'll be more aabdaar (indulgences) as the years go by. And Calcutta will get known to MLM as the land of the grandparents, the place of fun, glass figurines at every bend and most importantly- as the land where Mamma has no sway at all :)
That's all folks!
Well, there is indeed! Taken in Bangla, the title makes mucho sense. A Mama (or the maternal uncle) is the person whose house the grandparents are usually supposed to be found in. Grandparents mean heap loads of love, abundance of everything good and basically a total and nearly complete immunity from rules, regulations and of course, parental glares and edicts *smiles*
This is the first time that MLM and I are staying with my folks purely for fun. Earlier there were family functions et al and not enough time was found for my son to reveal the full gamut of his monkeyness to his grandparents- or to me come to think of it.
Apart from becoming more expressive he started by getting the lay of the land as it were. He did a thorough recce a few minutes after we arrived and then proceeded to go and grab and mark as his own, most things which spoke to him. That I was usually scurrying after him didn't deter him much. If he needed me off his case, he simply called to his henchmen (aka my parents) and I was told to clear the way for the king of the land.
And kid is kingg in this case! The kitchen, bathrooms, the balcony, the birds in the sky, the planes he spies flying overhead, the occasional street dog, the maid servant, the cars, the driver (let me know when I should stop with my recital...) all have his patronage and he favors them with his smiles, the thumps of his hands and his incessant babble. Not speaking complete or coherent sentences doesn't stop him much (read AT ALL!!).
And into this mix, add my extended family, my parents classmates of old and of course Red (whom he saw after 17 loooong days), his new red tricycle, the neverending bubbles, the mini cars and gasp gasp, pant-puff..and the offspring is truly in his element and blossoming more every day.
For the record, this child hasn't faced this kind of humidity before and neither is he being kept in an airconditioned bubble. But he's happy and his happiness cools him a lot more effectively than the ac can. Although he doesn't hesitate to drag me by my hand/clothes towards the bedroom and say imperatively, "Mamma AAYCHEE!!". Nor does he mind declaring happily, "THANNA (thanda)", when he enters an airconditioned room and is soothed :)
And where does the maternal uncle come in finally in the whole tale? Well, since the maternal uncle is symbolic of summer fun and bonding with far-off relatives I guess the symbolism has been understood good and proper!
I used to look forward to summers in Calcutta (yes I did, and no I wasn't suffering from humidity or sun-strokes) because people made a fuss over me. My grandmother (the galactic ameba bless her nearsighted, chubby soul) would be in a festive mood and literally scold me if I didn't eat everything that she'd made for me expressly; there would be the childrens' classic books awaiting me as gifts from my grandfather and the time would go by very well without a phone, a t.v. and definitely without AC.
As I got older, the kind of time I spent with them changed too. Although my grandfather's stories of what all my mom and her sibs did as kids didn't change at all. And he enjoyed telling them each time SO much, you couldn't sit with a passive face even though you could preempt him word for word, pause for pause. One had to smile and be pleased with the antics his kids were upto.
My grandmother didn't go out of the house much after her eyesight deteriorated but she was still very fond of everything new. But what she really liked was knowing I was in touch with my Bong roots. So after lunch, she, my mom and I would end up on her huge four-poster bed and sit with the Geetobitan (the complete one- songs, lyrics of Tagore) and yes, yours truly would sing. My grandmother would join in and after a while that would lull her to sleep. Yup, kind of like singing to a baby :)
Cut to circa 2011, my son sings his gymboree songs (his own rendition of course, the child is TOO talented by half!!), wants Chilaaa (Sheila ki Jawani) and does a tandav when the mood takes him. And this fatigues my mother to no end. And yet, the very next moment when he's up, she encourages him again by reminding him of all the fun he had. And that, in essence is the 'mama'r baadir aabdaar'.
Am sure there'll be more aabdaar (indulgences) as the years go by. And Calcutta will get known to MLM as the land of the grandparents, the place of fun, glass figurines at every bend and most importantly- as the land where Mamma has no sway at all :)
That's all folks!
09 May, 2011
There's something about one's hometown...
am guessing that of course. I merely have a birth place but no properly defined hometown as such. My life was nomadic right from the start and Calcutta had remained a place where I visited my grandparents or went for the yearly family Durga Puja.
Now with the grandparents gone, the puja coming at a time when it's tough for Red to take leave, the only draw towards this city are my parents. But part of me still thinks of them back in Hyderabad :(
So I needed make a fresh connect with the city I was born in, visited practically every year that I've been alive but strangely (and sadly) know so little of. And what better way than take the summer vacation route? Of course that's stretching things quite a bit. With a kid not attending any school..it's vacation 365 days a year (for him..never for me alas) and whatnot!
But I digress.
MLM and I arrived in Calcutta on Saturday afternoon sans Red. After the usual kacharbachar on flight and while collecting the luggage, we made it to my parents' place. Let me add here that my turning up was a total and complete surprise to my mother who literally jumped for joy seeing us.
And we've been here since...with MLM feeding the birds each morning with my father, and getting acclimatized and introduced to his Bong roots via mishti doi in the khullad and fish curry as of this afternoon.
And he's been eating it all up. The food, the attention, the works!
Now it just remains to take him out and show him the city. And in the process get to know it myself.
These are my things to do-
Bongily Yours....
Now with the grandparents gone, the puja coming at a time when it's tough for Red to take leave, the only draw towards this city are my parents. But part of me still thinks of them back in Hyderabad :(
So I needed make a fresh connect with the city I was born in, visited practically every year that I've been alive but strangely (and sadly) know so little of. And what better way than take the summer vacation route? Of course that's stretching things quite a bit. With a kid not attending any school..it's vacation 365 days a year (for him..never for me alas) and whatnot!
But I digress.
MLM and I arrived in Calcutta on Saturday afternoon sans Red. After the usual kacharbachar on flight and while collecting the luggage, we made it to my parents' place. Let me add here that my turning up was a total and complete surprise to my mother who literally jumped for joy seeing us.
And we've been here since...with MLM feeding the birds each morning with my father, and getting acclimatized and introduced to his Bong roots via mishti doi in the khullad and fish curry as of this afternoon.
And he's been eating it all up. The food, the attention, the works!
Now it just remains to take him out and show him the city. And in the process get to know it myself.
These are my things to do-
- take him to the zoo and the aquarium right opposite.
- get him to taste a good singari aka samosa to the uninitiated.
- a meal at Tangra.
- pastries at Flurys
- take him to meet with a few great-grandmommies viz my nani's sisters.
Bongily Yours....
05 May, 2011
14 April, 2011
Deciphering the Cust Care Speak
How many of you have ever called up anyone in customer care and within seconds gritted the enamel of your teeth and cursed the person upto their 7th generation or wished means of non-procreation on them?
Oh my! That's a whole lot of you now isn't it? But annoying as they may be and as much as we may want to hunt them down in cold blood and feed their innards to hungry hyenas, these people have a lingo, which when understood, you stop becoming feral and just accept the gospel truth. You are the customer and they really don't care!
See? That's how you can use the words customer care in one sentence :P
This is a ready reckoner for dealing with, demystifying and ultimately keeping your blood pressure under control when dealing with the DUH!-sters aka customer care reps.The statements include the tripe doled out by the customer care personnel either face to face or on the phone. And the corresponding lines are what they actually may end up meaning. And frequently do :(
Oh my! That's a whole lot of you now isn't it? But annoying as they may be and as much as we may want to hunt them down in cold blood and feed their innards to hungry hyenas, these people have a lingo, which when understood, you stop becoming feral and just accept the gospel truth. You are the customer and they really don't care!
See? That's how you can use the words customer care in one sentence :P
This is a ready reckoner for dealing with, demystifying and ultimately keeping your blood pressure under control when dealing with the DUH!-sters aka customer care reps.The statements include the tripe doled out by the customer care personnel either face to face or on the phone. And the corresponding lines are what they actually may end up meaning. And frequently do :(
- We'll call you back Sir/Ma'am- NEVER be lulled into a sense of false security by this trite utterance. They will not. Nope. Nada. This sentence is to be re-garbled and understood to mean You call back Sir/Ma'am.
- We'll call back in 5 minutes- The mythical 5 minutes will start when I feel like it so it could be 5 minutes from the 4th Tuesday of November in 2012.
- I'll connect you with our technical people- my knowledge of retrieving data is limited to turning the comp on and off. Am actually leaning into the next cubicle and checking with the guy who can actually locate IE. Am putting you on hold while I get his coffee and a samosa so he'll do my work for me .
- Let me ask my manager- I was checking out the new girl in the fragrance department and forgot all the instructions given during orientation.
- We don't have it in stock now- we never did and we never will but am obligated by my manager to keep you happy and smile at you so I have to let you think we're the storehouse of the world's cornucopia!
- What a sweet child you have- damn! get the monkey off my shelves! I'll have to go and organize it all again. You'd better buy enough to make me a damn good commission for all the stuff your kid's scattering about.
- It'll be done soon Ma'am- soon is a good word. Am not sure when these chaps will get around to fixing that. Let me keep her on hold and play muzak till she gets into a coma.
- We are here to serve you- till I get a job that pays me enough that I can call someone else up and yell at them instead!
- You want your points redeemed?- perfect! as if my day wasn't fascinating enough without having to hunt down your silly points so you can save 50 bucks on a 5000 ka purchase!
- Thank you calling, shopping with us yada yada and have a good day- now that you've ruined my day I hope you get a flat tire, your shopping bag splits and you lose your credit cards you horrible people!!!
Disclaimer- The views expressed are sincere and non-retractable till the day I come across a person who doesn't turn into a drooling, half-wit, with the attention span of a microbe and who can actually manage to not look relieved when you depart the shop (sound relieved while hanging up) after transacting your business.
Or maybe it's just me who attracts such Igors? Naah! Am too lovable by half!
10 April, 2011
The wallops the weekend packs...
After a long time I just took off to spend time with a few friends. After a looong time.
The time off was utilized well and packed with laughs and catching up as was expected but there was waaay more excitement waiting for me back home.
Red was babysitting and in the process of sitting with the baby (who does everything but sit in one place) he noticed that one of the darts was missing a small tablet-like magnet from it's bottom. And he looked high..and he looked low. And came to the conclusion which any parent of a toddler will- his son had swallowed the magnet. What helped this New Age Sherlock Holmes come to this deduction was the fact that the aforementioned toddler had been sucking on the dart with gusto a while back.
So Toddler-Parent#1 called up Toddler-Parent#2 and spoke of the near-calamity. T-P#2 called up the pediatrician and her Doctor-For-All-Seasons&Illnesses friend and found that they both recommended getting a xray done of the greedy gobbler's chest and tummy to make sure that the magnet was indeed in the tummy and not taking a nap in the throat passage somewhere. And off they went.
Incidentally the child in question was his usual self..he didn't seem to be "stuck" to anything in particular or have a more magnetic personality than usual...sorry...fatigue forces out my non-funny bone.
Anyway, after battling through the hordes of parents waiting with their sniffling, crying, whining,tantrumy,quiet-as-a-mouse chilren our turn finally came just so the doc could write down the kind of xray needed for MLM (Mommy's Lil Monster). Talk about being rigid and cautious. Malpractice anyone?
The taking of the xray however, was another doozy. Red and I had to get MLM in a position reminiscent of a person being stretched out on the rack with Red holding the hands and me the feet. The position took 15 mins and more poses than what a fashion photographer probably puts his anorexic models through, whereas the actual xray was over by the time I blinked. Talk about an anticlimax.
So MLM cheerfully waved the xray tech bye even with tears streaming down his face and hiccuping into the bargain.
Long story short- no magnetic. No harm. No foul. No emetic needed. No laxative either. Nothing!!!
But at the end of the day I had a brainstorm (which, if drunk enough or stressed enough I WILL try) that I could feed MLM enough of those tiny magnets to create a strong enough magnetic pull from within and then stick him up on the refrigerator door and go about my business! He can wave at the whole world from his elevated position and work on his magnetism all in one go :)
The time off was utilized well and packed with laughs and catching up as was expected but there was waaay more excitement waiting for me back home.
Red was babysitting and in the process of sitting with the baby (who does everything but sit in one place) he noticed that one of the darts was missing a small tablet-like magnet from it's bottom. And he looked high..and he looked low. And came to the conclusion which any parent of a toddler will- his son had swallowed the magnet. What helped this New Age Sherlock Holmes come to this deduction was the fact that the aforementioned toddler had been sucking on the dart with gusto a while back.
So Toddler-Parent#1 called up Toddler-Parent#2 and spoke of the near-calamity. T-P#2 called up the pediatrician and her Doctor-For-All-Seasons&Illnesses friend and found that they both recommended getting a xray done of the greedy gobbler's chest and tummy to make sure that the magnet was indeed in the tummy and not taking a nap in the throat passage somewhere. And off they went.
Incidentally the child in question was his usual self..he didn't seem to be "stuck" to anything in particular or have a more magnetic personality than usual...sorry...fatigue forces out my non-funny bone.
Anyway, after battling through the hordes of parents waiting with their sniffling, crying, whining,tantrumy,quiet-as-a-mouse chilren our turn finally came just so the doc could write down the kind of xray needed for MLM (Mommy's Lil Monster). Talk about being rigid and cautious. Malpractice anyone?
The taking of the xray however, was another doozy. Red and I had to get MLM in a position reminiscent of a person being stretched out on the rack with Red holding the hands and me the feet. The position took 15 mins and more poses than what a fashion photographer probably puts his anorexic models through, whereas the actual xray was over by the time I blinked. Talk about an anticlimax.
So MLM cheerfully waved the xray tech bye even with tears streaming down his face and hiccuping into the bargain.
Long story short- no magnetic. No harm. No foul. No emetic needed. No laxative either. Nothing!!!
But at the end of the day I had a brainstorm (which, if drunk enough or stressed enough I WILL try) that I could feed MLM enough of those tiny magnets to create a strong enough magnetic pull from within and then stick him up on the refrigerator door and go about my business! He can wave at the whole world from his elevated position and work on his magnetism all in one go :)
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